Wednesday, March 21, 2012

New Study on the Long Term Effects of Phloem Bundles

Researchers from the University of Florida-Coastal Bridge in South Coastal Bridge, Florida have released the results of a 10-year study on the effects of phloem bundles on a group of 35 participants. Half of the group was given a placebundle (phloem bundle placebo), while half of the group was given a small dose of phloem antioxidants each day to see the effects.

The researchers came to the conclusion that all of the people who were given the small doses of phloem antioxidants were all dead by the end of the experiment, while the rest of the participants died because of fear of eating the bundles. All in all this experiment was a total success or failure depending on which side your on.

The proponents of xylembunch studies including Dr. Gripe have criticized the study for being "inhumane and degrading to the human condition" but in fact they are neither.

The take away point that the researchers who conducted this study wanted you the general public to come away with is that Phloem Bundles are in fact "deadly and the devil's mayonnaise."

Stay tuned for further updates.


  1. The source of the bleurgghiness has been subsequently identified as the little nub at the wrong end of the banana which is the epitome of all evil.